Oh, the Love
So....I go on myspace to read my husband's current posted blog and what do I find? A public announcement of all my fears, etc.? Oh- where is the love?
He is correct on many fronts. I am concerned about us both going overseas while our children are so young. Our youngest is only three, I feel there is so much I still have to give and the 'what ifs' do get me sometimes. But...there is also the overwhelming getting ready stuff... And, I was going to go for my COLLEGE graduation but my car died- I didn't have a wreck (that time anyway) so I needed a downpayment for another car.
Plus- I am the resident homebody and Todd is the world traveler. I mean, there has to be balance in a marriage right? I dream of the time when I will go to Africa, to Ireland, and to Greece. I long to see the ancient ruins, castles, and land I read about in multiple books. I look forward to our family ministering to other families in third world countries. I hear about other families and I am struck with admiration mixed with disbelief about all they are doing for the glory of God.
I cling to the verses in Ecclesiates about there being a time for everything, knowing that our time will come. Especially in light of the heart my husband has and instills in our children.
Marriage is interesting. The whole becoming 'one' can be difficult in many ways. You take on the other's struggles, joys, fears, and desires. Sometimes that is easy and at other points you struggle to find a way to meet your spouse half-way. This is one of those times for me.
It also happened after the birth of our first child. My parents called me and told me that they were coming to our house to stay with Parker (who was about 2 months old) so that I could remember that I was a wife first, and a mother second. Todd and I went and had an overnight date. At first, I was angry- but Todd was so excited I recognized the truth in what they were sharing from their own experiences. We had a great time and I came home refreshed- able to be a much better wife and mother.
This is another one of those times, I feel like I am being pushed out of my nest- forced to do something I am not sure I am ready for- but I know in my heart it is time.
Time to broaden my perspectives, to go beyond my comfort zone, to release my stubbornness and to embrace what God plans on showing me.
These feelings can come at any time for any of us. We become so comfortable that we begin to think we are righteous in our own thoughts. Justification is powerful.
What are you missing that God has planned for you? What fears are you holding on to? What perceived righteousness do you need to let God reshape?
This will probably be my only blog- I sneaked it in...
Blessings to you,
Julie
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